I was watching a daytime talk show last week, where they were discussing the changes children make to our lifestyles. One mum said, ‘our children should fit into our lifestyle, rather than us changing our lifestyle to revolve round them’. This is an interesting concept. When we have a baby, it goes without saying that life is never the same again, but to what extent does it really change? Is it possible to just slot your child into your lifestyle without making major adjustments?
Personally, we have made some major adjustments, but we don’t mind. Not having as much freedom to go where you like, when you like, is a big change. From experience we have learned that there is no such thing as just jumping in the car with the baby in the back to go shopping. You have to plan the time of day you go, depending on when the baby will be eating and napping. You have to pack a bag with all the things you could possibly need, which is quite a lot of stuff. Going out for a meal can seem pointless because if the baby decides it wants attention, then one of you will be eating with one hand, which isn’t the nicest way to enjoy a meal out. I really don’t understand how a parent could just ‘fit their child into their lifestyle’. They should really share their secret with the rest of us! Actually, on second thought, I wouldn’t want to know, I’m loving life just as it is now 
Just to back up a point I made in an earlier post, I got Andrew to take a photo of Tamar and I having lunch in a local cafe this week. It may surprise you to know that I am feeding Tamar! Yes it may look like she’s sleeping or being cuddled, but she is in fact having her lunch too! Proving the point that breastfeeding can be extremely discrete and most people don’t even notice it happening.
After an evening of Bridal shopping with my sister who is getting married next year, I’m feeling all reminiscent! Although we have been married for 18 months, and now have a baby, it is all still quite fresh in the memory. The preparation seems to take over your life for about a year before wedding, with a roller-coaster of emotions. One minute you are so excited, can’t get off the internet looking for ideas, and just bore everyone around you with wedding plans. The next day your stressing over money and re-calculating over and over again. I would say to anyone planning a wedding, try your best to enjoy the preparations, you only get married once (hopefully) and you need to make memories of it all, rather than being overwhelmed and not enjoying it. Here’s a few tips
- When booking a service or buying a product for the wedding, ALWAYS barter with the company. You may feel shy about it but trust me, if you do it right, you will save a fortune! I’m not exaggerating.
- Learn from other people. Of course all the decisions about your wedding should be your personal choice, but don’t be afraid to ask other married couples what they would do differently, or what they would change about their big day.
- Both of you can’t be in control of everything. What I mean is, some things are better left to be organized by one person. Such as, the woman takes care of dresses, flowers, accessories etc. But the man is in charge of entertainment. (These are just examples) When I say ‘ in charge’ I mean, once you both decide what you want, only one person contacts the necessary people, arranges details with them, and pays them. If the two of you are trying to communicate with outside agencies and making arrangements it only adds more confusion.
- Prioritize what is most important to both of you. This may be that you want a really nice honeymoon, or really high quality wedding rings. This will determine how much money you spend on different parts of the big day. So for example if you both aren’t too fussy about flowers, you can just have a small amount of them, at a small cost, and spend more money on something special.
- Generally speaking, if you can do or make something yourself, it will always be cheaper. By this I mean, the stationary, the flowers, the favours, the cake etc. Even if you don’t personally do all these things, you should ask around family and close friends to see if there is a reliable person you could ask to help you, who has experience in these areas.
- Make sure everyone in the bridal party knows exactly what should be happening and when throughout the big day. You could go over this with everyone at the rehearsal, or even type it out for everyone to read over before the wedding.
We always want the best for our children. Like many new mums, from the day I found out I was expecting a baby, I was searching baby websites reading about the development in the womb, buying books on what to eat and what not to eat while pregnant. I made lists of things we needed to buy and we went to Parentcraft classes in the hospital. Preparing for the arrival of your baby is an exciting but also a daunting time. One of the main pieces of advice I was given was that breastfeeding was the best source of nutrients for my baby.
Scientific fact shows that breastfeeding protects a baby from many illnesses and also decreases the mothers risk of contracting certain cancers. The evidence for this is clear and cannot be argued against. So why do statistics show that a very small percentage of babies are breastfeed in UK? In comparison to many other European countries, we should be ashamed!
The Office for National Statistics performs its Infant Feeding survey every five years. In 2008, the figures for the survey in 2005 were published. Although the data is now a little dated, it gives us a general picture of the situation and we can assume that the statistics won’t have changed dramatically since then. They recorded “only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months”.
As a breastfeeding mother, I feel that the reason for these low figures can be found in societal attitudes towards breastfeeding. I believe that the corrupt and sinful way in which a woman’s body is objectified in the media and through other sources, has distorted and sidelined the original intention of a woman being formed in the way she is. The ability to give birth and being able to feed her baby are the reason that women have a different type of body to that of men, this is how God created us. I think that if more people in society were to remember this, then there would be a much greater acceptance of breastfeeding rather than a stigma attached to it.
Although it is a very natural thing, we should never assume that this makes it easy! Learning how to breastfeed is one of the most difficult challenges for new mums, which is exactly why we should be as supportive as possible! There should not be a fear of going out in public just because we worry that the baby may get hungry. A baby has just as much right to eat as everyone else does and a mother quickly learns how to do it discretely so as to save the embarrassment of others. By talking about it and making it a normal part of having a baby, we are making it easier for mothers to feel comfortable about doing it in public.
The World Cancer Research Fund lists breastfeeding as a PREVENTION for breast cancer. Imagine how many cases of breast cancer could be avoided if every baby in Northern Ireland were to be breastfed up to six months? We all have a responsibility to make this happen and it is within our power. Its all about our attitudes. Are we encouraging or judgmental? Accepting or narrow-minded? Each one of us needs to make a choice, and make a stand. Don’t sit on the fence.
“It is often quite expensive and time-consuming to buy healthy food and that puts wealthier parents at an advantage.” This is a statement by Tam Fry (National Obesity Forum), when he featured in a BBC News article about childhood obesity. My question today challenges this idea that wealthier people have an advantage when it comes to buying healthy food. The BBC article went on to explain that wealthier parents have more of an ‘awareness’ about healthy eating as well as the money to finance it. I think this is nonsense.
Firstly, ‘awareness’ about healthy eating is not confined to the upper classes. The society in which we live is obsessed with it. If you go into most schools, there will be some sort of healthy eating program for the pupils to follow; if your waiting in the doctors surgery you will read the posters about the necessary ‘5-a-day’; we even have TV advertisements, in the form of friendly cartoons, encouraging the whole family to eating healthy and do more exercise. Last time I checked, people from all social classes watch TV and go into public places, so why would we assume that they are unaware of all this propaganda about healthy eating? It seems a bit silly, don’t you think?
Secondly, I challenge anyone to disagree with me on the fact that the healthiest foods are very often the fresh ones, which are prepared from raw products. Preparing a meal from scratch, using fresh produce will generally speaking always be cheaper and healthier than buying it as a ready-made product in a chilled or frozen format. So if convenience food is more expensive than home cooked nutritional food, it doesn’t make sense that wealthier people have an advantage in eating healthily, because the healthy way is (generally speaking) the cheaper way.
The ways in which we can make our lifestyles and eating habits more healthy, are promoted to us in many different ways. We don’t need to have completed third level education to know that it’s better for us to have salad for lunch than a Big Mac or a banana rather than a mars bar! Forgive me for using such obvious examples, but I am trying to make a point. Common sense is a major influence when we are choosing what to eat and how much exercise we should be doing, it doesn’t always require a specialist education or the advice of a dietitian (of course there is no harm in using these) Being on maternity leave, I can honestly say that being able to prepare fresh meals everyday has been cheaper and tastier than supermarket prepared meals that cost a fortune and don’t fill the house with the smell of home cooking
Well today, I had a refreshing reminder that there are still many nice kind-hearted people in the world! It began two days ago when our neighbour from two doors down (whom I have never seen or talked to before) was driving out of the cul-de-sac as Tamar and I were going for a walk. She stopped the car to say congratulations and asked how the baby was doing etc……. Very nice elderly lady.
This afternoon as Tamar and I were struggling to find some decent daytime TV, there was a knock on the door. It was the very nice lady (who I now know as Mabel). She had knitted a beautiful pink blanket for Tamar! It’s almost too nice to let Tamar use, although this would defeat the point of a blanket I suppose! A very nice gift from a lady we only met two days ago! Refreshing indeed!
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