Do you ever look at other mums and think……………….
‘How can she do all that and look so great at the same time?’
‘How can she balance work and children and all that extra stuff!?’
‘What is the secret creating those perfectly behaved children?’
‘How did she lose all that weight?’
‘How can they afford that sort of holiday?’
‘Where does she get the energy to do all that?’
Comparison is not our friend, nor is a healthy way to think. We do it so easily, and very often it comes out of our own insecurities. We think we’re content, but then another mum comes along and we start to wonder why she seems to be able to do more than us, look better than us, succeed more than us, raise her children better than us.
When this sort of thinking creeps in, we need to ‘nip it in the bud’, so to speak. The longer we ponder these thoughts, the more they fester, and before you know it you are bitter and discontent.
“Don’t compare your backstage with someone else’s front stage”. I heard this recently on a podcast and although it was referring to the business world, there is a great application to us mums. Very often we look at someones ‘front stage’, for example their Facebook updates, how they look dressed up on a weekend, or how their children behave in public, and we compare that to our ‘back stage’ lives. When I say back stage, I suppose it really means life behind the scenes.
You know the examples, children drawing on walls, parents arguing, using dry shampoo for the 3rd day in a row, letting the baby eat half their lunch off the floor, giving your kids a ‘treat day’ drive thru McDonalds because you can’t be bothered making dinner, washing the same load of laundry 3 times because you keep forgetting its in the machine, leaving your wet towel in the ensuite floor all day because you were in a hurry, burning a supposedly ‘foolproof’ cake recipe etc. All these sorts of things, in reality are only occasional occurrences but we compare them to the ‘perfect’ life of another mum and all of a sudden we feel like a failure.
In your mind you can nearly write yourself off as not good enough, but you couldn’t be more wrong! God made you the way you are for a reason. Your skills, your inadequacies, your talents and your shortcomings are all part of who you are and they shape the type of mother you are. Rachel Cruze recently said, “Remember the life you see here on social media isn’t reality, it’s everyones highlight reel”. Please keep this in mind when you feel comparisons starting to develop in your mind. Everyone has ‘back stage’ messiness, we just don’t see it on social media, at the school gate or in church on a Sunday morning.
Lets use our thoughts and actions to focus on all the positive things in our lives.
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